Being Content Alone

Every relationship that I've been in has ended in disappointment. Mostly due to cheating and a lack of committment, my breakups have ended predominately from these results after so much time spent. That sad part though, is that I not once ended the relationship after these infidelities. Each time, I stayed, hoping to work it out when in reality my boyfriend should have been trying to work it out before slipping up. But being the forgiving person that I am (and predending I was hard after the difficult time that I gave these cheaters), I took them back. Now, I look at the guys and remember the way I felt about them in the beginning of our relationship vs. now. I look on their facebook and twitter pages and think to myself "I couldn't honesly give two flips what you're doing right now." I feel bitter. Why had I been treated this way? I'm smart. I'm pretty and I have a good personality (I think :/). I have a job, an apartment, and a car. I pay for all of my expenses. All I ask is to be treated well.

Is this too much? I only ask for my doors to be opened and to be taken out every once and a while. I simply ask that time is devoted to me. I merely suggest that he communicates with me well and often. I havent ever expected to be taken to the moon or for mountains to be climbed. I have ever asked for anyone to bend over backwards or particpate in the olympics for my love...all I've asked was to treat.me.well. simply.

Over the years, there has been so much drama and stress over this simple concept. I've never been treated well. Its as simple as that. Now that I've made the decision to completely eliminate guys from my life, this is so clear to me.

I feel good because of my decison. Not once this week have a waken up sad or have I went to sleep upset. That shows me that I have taken the right steps to be content alone. At one point I dont think I could have said that. When its my time, he will come and treat me right. I will still go to sleep content and wake up satisfied...the only difference is that I will have someone to share my contentness with.